Sep 17, 2019
Brittney had been a sugar addict as a child, even back then she was exhibiting addictive behavior. Her first alcoholic drink was in junior high and around that same time she started feeling like she was bigger than her peers. She clearly recalls her first drink and the experience she had of finding her tribe.
[6:25] Brittney was a binge drinker and one of the troubles with alcoholism is that once you take a drink you don’t know what’s going to happen next. For Brittney, that meant being unable to stop herself from continuing to drink further.
[7:25] Alcoholics are often self-medicating their anxiety. Dr. Larry recalls a man that described the effect as “making him feel normal”. For some people, alcohol can be a way of shutting off the negative voices in their heads.
[9:15] Brittney got herself into a repetitive cycle of drinking and then fixing the mistakes she made while blackout drunk. By the time she got to UCLA, Brittney’s imposter syndrome got even worse and so did her subsequent binge drinking.
[11:50] After graduating college and moving to Los Angeles, there was a moment where she woke up from another blackout and felt that she was done with the experience. Her life-changing moment happened a month later after having not had a drink for the past 30 days and falling off the wagon. It got to the point where the effect of the drinking was considerably worse than the anxiety she was trying to relieve.
[14:00] Brittney’s last night of drinking was after she was rescued by people who had found her passed out in the show. She decided that she didn’t want to risk death or be a person that wakes up in random houses anymore. She could no longer deny that bad things happened when she drank. Since that day, Brittney has been free from alcohol and has been for the past ten years.
[18:10] The reason that experience was the one that created a lasting change is because Brittney got honest with herself and found a mentor and support group that helped her feel understood.
[19:15] Being honest and doing spiritual work is how Brittney continues to stay sober. Having a support group where she could share her experiences was very important as well. She noticed that when you take away the drinking, you find that the people you consider friends aren’t actually friends and you have far less in common.
[21:20] Your life greatly improves once you stop blacking out. Alcoholism is a disease of self-obsession and it’s a cure to constant self-doubt, at least temporarily. Once she stopped drinking alcohol, Brittney was able to work on herself in a way that removed her self obsessions that were causing the problems in the first place.
[23:45] Developing early and getting attention from men was a major influence on Brittney’s issues with her body.
[25:20] Brittney naturally found herself associating with fraternity guys and bro culture because it easily facilitated her continued drinking.
[26:20] Alcoholism is progressive, so the longer it happens the worse the effects become. Having other people in her life who are also alcoholics allowed her to see what her future looked like if she continued along that path. If alcohol is your core motivation you can never really be present with other people.
[28:00] If you don’t address the pain that you were avoiding when you were drinking when you become sober, your negative emotions manifest in other ways. For Brittney that meant food. For the first six months, she worked on her behavior without doing the internal work and she found herself unable to control her eating.
[31:40] Brittney became so ashamed of her eating habits that she would pretend that she was ordering for multiple people. Binge eating and alcoholism share one common trait, where your shame encourages you to be alone and to hide your behaviour from yourself and others.
[34:30] Medicating her anxiety was the common denominator in both addictions. She gained over 70 pounds in the first year and found herself trying a variety of crash diets to mitigate her weight gain.
[37:25] Brittney’s second moment occurred when she visited her mom and saw she was obviously shocked and sad at the state of her daughter. It was then that she realized that if she continues eating like that she was going to end up drinking again. She tried one more crash diet and lost 40 pounds in 40 days, and then she gained it back in two weeks. Standing on the scale and seeing that all the weight had come back was her rock bottom when she realized she had to accept that she wasn’t in control.
[40:15] Being honest was the only way forward. Brittney started working with a nutritionist and writing down everything she ate. It was a long process but she gradually started eating a healthier diet.
[42:00] The intensity of the binges has changed drastically. Now it’s more about the behavior of what triggers a binge rather than what gets eaten. The food journal led to a discovery that changed everything. Brittney noticed that as long as she ate a minimum number of calories she didn’t feel a desire to binge eat.
[45:30] Honesty was the foundation for Brittney’s weight loss and understanding what her triggers were. Certain foods, and stress and anxiety were frequent issues that she’s learned how to minimize. She also found that by eating healthier, nutrient-dense foods her anxiety level was also drastically reduced.
[48:10] Pro tips: stay hydrated. A lot of the time we feel hungry we’re actually thirsty. Make your food colorful. If you want to eat a certain food, as long as it isn’t a triggering food, go for it. Be kind to yourself.
[49:10] Find someone you can be truthful with what is actually going on. We usually want to keep up appearances with everybody, but do you want to save your face or do you want to save your butt?
[50:45] You can have freedom with food if you do the work. If you don’t deal with the root of the stress or anxiety you will always go back to your addiction to deal with it.
[52:00] When Brittney first started competing in bodybuilding competitions, she was doing it as a diet, not as a sport. It was a way of forcing herself to stick to the regimen. Now it’s become a goal in itself.
[54:40] Social media has been a helpful tool for Brittney to feel support for her journey but to also help support others. It can give you a sense of purpose and a record of what you’ve accomplished.
[55:40] Brittney doesn’t want people to suffer because of the cultural pressure to look a certain way. She wants women to feel empowered and in control of their body and how they feel about themselves.
[56:30] Brittney would recommend that one way men can help is if they compliment women for something other than their body.
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